In the past, I used to summarize and count the number of days I exercised, the number of lessons I drew, and the interesting activities I had. During the process of counting the days, I would flip through my past diaries and essays. There were many impressive things in the past six months. This time, I want to try a different approach and select some entries from the first half of the year to see my own journey, feelings, and changes.
January 2nd, Penida Island#
In January, I had a happy surfing trip to Bali, relaxed in hot springs in the suburbs of Beijing with a friend, visited my colleague Xiao Hu's podcast, and attended my younger brother's wedding.
Having meals, I suddenly felt relieved. We are in China, on the uphill road to 2035, moving at a fast pace. As individuals in the process of social progress, we are easily left behind, prone to emotional and mental problems. Individuals must be strong, both physically and mentally, in order to survive. (January 4th, Bali)
February 25th, Beijing Home#
In February, I spent the Lunar New Year in Inner Mongolia and Hangzhou with my friend, focusing on family bonding. After returning to work, I hosted the company's annual meeting for the fifth time. After the New Year, I felt physically and mentally exhausted. I soaked in hot springs, went swimming (encouraging Miss Tianyu), danced (encouraging Xiao Hu to join), and slowly regained my energy through yoga.
...In the past, I used to say that I believed in true love, but I didn't believe it would come to me. Gradually, I realized that self-love is a prerequisite for true love, and true love also requires wisdom and subjective initiative. Love is not constant, it flows, and in the process of getting along, I fall in love with him again and again. He makes me fall in love repeatedly. (February 17th, Beijing)
...I am also very comfortable and uninhibited in front of him. I seem to have touched the shape of true love. It is warm, solid, touchable, and full of wonderful energy... Happiness is an ability. Some people have it naturally, while others learn it later. Just like physical abilities, happiness muscles need to be exercised to maintain perception. (February 18th, Beijing)
March 31st, Beijing Muye Art Studio#
In March, Ukie took me skiing (and I discovered a delicious seafood noodle restaurant near Ritan Park), and I went to hot springs in Nanjing with my friend. I learned freestyle and backstroke at U-Town and regularly exercised and went to the Muye Art Studio (where I drew a picture of myself). I also went on a business trip to Hangzhou (with my uncle picking me up).
Today's skiing experience: Don't stop when you're afraid. Keep trying and moving forward in the face of fear. Consciousness comes before the body. Don't give yourself negative thoughts. Attitude is important. Positive psychological suggestions are important. Cheer yourself on! (I used to be afraid of swimming, but I enjoyed it after mastering it.) (March 2nd, Beijing)
Today, I did great. I finally overcame my inner demons and started drawing. I thought of many things: 1. Combine distant observation with close observation, and have both perspectives. 2. Be bold in drawing, follow the basic rules, just draw, like skiing, step firmly, just ski, like yoga, step firmly, exert force. Don't float, don't be afraid of getting dirty. 3. Practice. I used to remind myself: solid basic skills. Now I tell myself: practice. Understand the rules and master them through practice. 4. Keep going! Just do it! I used to have to adjust my state before I could draw. The environment had to be clean and quiet, and I needed to be energetic, well-rested, and mentally prepared. Now I hope that I can just draw, regardless of wind or rain, mood or skill, without counting, just draw. Like the realization I had while skiing, just keep skiing, continue trying in the face of fear. I can draw without being happy, draw with difficulty, struggle to draw, draw with excitement. In short, draw, ski, dance, swim, do, learn, cut. I love these verbs. (March 3rd, Beijing)
April 8th, Nusa Dua Beach#
In April, we went on another vacation to Bali for surfing. My uncle drove us and our two cats to Hangzhou, where we rented a house. The itinerary for the whole month was Beijing - Bali vacation - back to Beijing - business trip to Hangzhou (renting a house) - back to Beijing - drove to move to Hangzhou - business trip to Jiaxing - back to Hangzhou - business trip to Ningbo - back to Hangzhou. In between, we went to hot springs and did morning runs with my friend, and I started taking sketching classes at Guomei Night School.
Am I 31 or 32? I can't remember, and maybe it doesn't matter. It should be 32, not shining, and my heart is not at ease. Let's just pretend I'm a penguin, learning to stand, walk, and swim. At 32, I give myself a birthday gift: no more self-doubt, believe in myself, affirm myself, cheer for myself, love myself, and applaud myself. (April 10th, Hangzhou)
May 4th, Inner Mongolia Xiangshawan#
In May, I went back to Inner Mongolia with my friend's family to meet their parents and also visited Xiangshawan and the Yellow River. After that, I went on a business trip to Ningbo, returned to Beijing for live streaming and training, and then lived in a lovely little house in Beijing for 10 days. In between, I packed my luggage, rented out my house, and managed to find time for drawing and exercising. I went on a business trip to Huzhou, signed up to take my sister to Nanjing for a weekend parent-child trip, and returned to Hangzhou. After that, I went on a business trip to Ningbo, and left early in the morning to go to Wenzhou by high-speed rail. The consecutive drinking sessions made my stomach protest, so I signed up for yoga classes in Hangzhou and started swimming early in the morning. Additionally, the 4th issue of Cheese was also well-received this month, with lectures on Dream of the Red Chamber by Teacher Dahui, energy management by Xiao Hu, sharing of experiences in Nanjing by Tianbo, and investment advice by Qingchun Road. The only regret is that I didn't have any time to make plum wine this year due to being busy.
Overall, everything went smoothly. Just in time for the live streaming at Guojin, just in time for the training, I had a week to return to Beijing, and the house rental went smoothly. I sold some items on the second-hand market (floor lamp, cat litter box), and the delivery service worked well (mattress sent out). My friend worked hard and helped a lot. I met Dongyue and Xiao Hu during the Cheese event (we live-streamed together), and I also met Shuqing and the boss. Getting up early tomorrow? Make a tiny change. (May 20th, Hangzhou)
June 7th, Hangzhou Guomei Night School#
In June, I accompanied my friend to Beijing for a wedding during the Dragon Boat Festival, and continued practicing yoga and swimming. Fatigue made me worry about my thyroid, but my friend accompanied me to the hospital and there was no major problem. I went on a business trip to Taizhou and gradually learned to control the pace of my work. I completed a 530 million subscription for 0-3 government bonds, and in the end, I distributed 90 million to two colleagues, leaving me with 440 million, exceeding the target. In the last week, I started going to bed early and getting up early, trying to spend as much time as possible in the morning for swimming, drawing, yoga, reading, and writing. Compared to the busy months of April and May, I am slowly finding my own rhythm of life again. In June, I spent more time with my paintbrush.
Half a year has passed in the blink of an eye, a chaotic period. Next week is the last week of June: introverted. I will handle the work on my desk and go out less. (Implement the 0-3 subscription) I want to exercise, eat healthy food, and go swimming tomorrow. I want to read a book and finish the acrylic painting tomorrow. The second half of the year still belongs to me. I hope I can be more determined, optimistic, brave, and spirited. (June 24th, Hangzhou)